A Diary By a Young Ingenue
by shesarebelxx
Summary: What would happen if you could get a peek into Rachel Berry's diary? To see her innermost thoughts and feelings on the Glee club you never see on screen?
1. Entry 1

**This is just a little experiment I wanted to try...a Diary from Rachel's point of view. I'm pretty sure it will have it's own plotline soon (St Berry most likely), but for now, in this one chapter, I'm just trying to get the right voice for the story. Please let me know if I should keep going!**

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Dear Diary,

To be completely honest, I always found keeping a diary childish. Why would you _ever_ want to keep your feelings to yourself? Especially in a family like mine, where my feelings and opinions on things were so highly regarded! Therefore, there was never a need for me to write in a notebook my thoughts and feelings on things.

Until now.

Finn has reminded me many times that perhaps telling everyone what is wrong with their performances, and being verbally adamant that Mr. Schuster is _constantly_ attempting to ruin my life isn't the best way to earn the respect I deserve from our fellow Glee club members. Though I see nothing wrong with sharing my years of experiences with, frankly, mediocre performers. Mike needs to realize that, yes, his duet with Tina was _cute_ however, and that type of voice would never pass with the judges at Regionals. And he refuses to accept my help, just because he refuses to pay my tiny fee of $19.99 (I need to get to Julliard somehow)!

Finn explained that a diary is to hold your secrets (something he said he learned from Kurt, who has a diary of his own), I suppose I should at least give you one secret, my dearest diary. _I am not a hundred percent sure we can win Regionals_. We have absolutely grown as a team, and, with my superb talents, I know we are more than capable of taking second place just with my talents alone, but last year was a wake up call. What was a well deserved second, _first_, place performance, ended up being tragically ranked as third place. _**Third!**_ I, Rachel Berry, have _never_ settled for less than gold up until then, and I _don't_ expect to have to do so again. But **NO ONE WILL FOCUS!** Quinn is too preoccupied with Sam, Kurt with Blaine, Puck with his community service (though I honestly don't understand his thinking that throwing garbage at cars is 'picking up trash'), and Brittany and Santana with Cheerios (and their _sex is not dating_ relationship)! If the team would just put some of their focus into Glee, we could _definitely_ show them what we could have done last year.

Vocal Adrenaline is nothing anymore. Not even with that Sunshine, who I am still amazed could possibly be shorter than I, especially with her gullible tendencies. People may _say_ I was wrong for sending her to an _**inactive**_ crackhouse, but _honestly_ some of the blame has to be placed on her _actually believing _that a _school club_ would have auditions in another place. However, the tiny singer aside, Vocal Adrenaline is _nothing_ they used to be. Not without Shelby and _certainly _not without Jesse.

I am never one for, as I believe Mercedes would call it, _dissing_ people, however Jesse has this _diss_ coming. Despite my appreciation for his talents, (though never perfect, he was always as close as possible) what he did was _unexcusable_. I lo…was very fond of him, and for him to just rip my heart like that and do the choreography to _The Bitch of Living_ on it, is just unacceptable. Because of that, I am ignoring all requests from UCLA to come for a summer program. That, and I am positive that within a few hours they would have me leading at _least_ one class, and I just can not take on that responsibility when summers are strictly dedicated to working on my acting talents.

I suppose that is all I have to say today. Expect another tomorrow after I suffer through another one of Mr. Schuster's _assignments. _Maybe Finn was right. I should do this more often. Though I still don't like the idea of not sharing my opinions with everyone. I thought everyone always enjoyed hearing what I had to say!

Gold Stars,

Rachel Berry.


	2. Entry 2

Though I got only one review, I decided to continue. I figure the story will stay pretty parallel to the show up until it goes on hiatus, where my creative side will take over. For now, there will just be hints of St. Berry, but it'll stay Finchel unless something happens.

Though once I go on my creative side, I highly doubt I'll ever come back. A Warning. ;)

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Dear Diary,

Today's Glee club meeting was absolutely _horrendous._ Mr. Schuster was sick with the flu, so we had no one to lead us, and my offer to be interim leader was unanimously voted against, Santana being the loudest offender.

**Note to self: Look up what Tu esta loca means. **I want to know how to thank Santana for the obvious compliment disguised in another language so that no one would know she was secretly in favor of me being interim leader.

Anyway, while I was trying to engage the group in a discussion on what songs would be best suited for my vocal range (a pointless conversation, as I've had our setlist planned out since the day after Regionals), _Holly Holiday_ walks in. I suppose that an adult in the room is responsible, if you could even _call_ her an adult. I highly doubt she would fit under that category though. After engaging everyone in a completely pointless and immature song, she took them out for _tacos_ completely disregarding my vegan eating habits! I am currently thinking about filing a complaint, though Finn seems to be against this. Though I am starting to think his reasons are less pure than he said…

Despite the fact that eventually Miss Holiday and I did reach a professional level of agreement, I am still _praying_ Mr. Schuster comes back soon. As long as he's completely healthy. While I have an amazing immune system, I simply can not be exposed to an illness so close to Sectionals. Losing my voice is something that this team _can not _afford to happen.

Following in my normal, one secret per entry ritual, while visiting my Facebook (MySpace was getting a little too outdated, and everyone seemed to enjoy Facebook), I saw a friend request from _Jesse St. James_. Now obviously, a friend request is a _friend_ request, meaning he wants to be _friends_, correct? I can not show this to Finn, he would go ballistic, and make me delete it!

Not that I don't want to delete it.

Because I do, of course. He hurt me.

I just…I haven't deleted it yet. I've been very busy preparing our set list. Something of course, diary, you can understand.

Gold Stars.

Rachel Berry.

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**Seriously, review please? :D**


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